Bar Room Brigade

Original piece written 7/30/07

We are all suffering together, alone
in this bar
We buy each other drinks
and make jokes
and go home dying.

We should reach out, but instead
We are breeding a generation
with scars on our arms we don't talk about
and we can't look each other in the eye
We want to scream but hold it in
we are awkward in our movements
and bad at relationships
We are confused by adult live
and everything that comes with it
We are searching for our golden ticket
Our promise to a better live than this
But there are no more chocolate bars
Or maybe there are
but no one has the ambition to find one.

Dust

Sometimes I feel I am getting left behind.
This world moves much too fast.
The days bleed together like a mess of melted crayons.
I am still on the previous page
and a new chapter is already beginning.

All my efforts turn to dust
While those who have hurt me find their place.
They find salvation and I am left with nothing
only a fistful of broken dreams and battered memories.
When will it be my turn?

I have tried too hard and cried too much
and still it is not over.
Why should they be rewarded for what they've done?
While I am left here wanting,
Wondering what I've done wrong.

Sometimes this life is just too much
I cannot feel anything anymore
I cannot pretend to be happy if this smile feels so false
I have nothing to give you, so stop asking.
One day there will be sunshine
but today there is only dust.