It's amazing how clear things become, like waking up and realizing you have been asleep.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Untitled [Bee]

One foot in front of the other
one step and then the next
Pat pat,
pat pat, plot
Why is it so noisy in my head?
back to the beginning
to the womb
something went wrong here
something eternal yet untrue
Everlasting uncertainty
no wonder the children are droll
Pat pat,
pat pat
tired from the journey
so far yet to go
hope rising like smoke on the horizon
no destination
no moral overtones
no plot
There is a bee in the bedroom my dear
don’t look at me like that.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Catching up

So ... It's been a minute since my last post, and many things have transpired.  I'll try to recap:

On September 1st I flew to Las Vegas for a couple days to interview for a job with a rare book company.  They paid for the plane ticket, and a room for the night at The Palazzo, which was lovely.  The room was amazing.  I think the tiled bathroom was the size of my bedroom.  Here are my thoughts on Las Vegas:

1) It's very lonely.  I usually like, and even prefer, to travel solo, but in a city built on having a good time it's difficult to have a good time without someone to share it with.  From the shows to the street performers, everywhere you look is something to turn to your friend(s) and say, "Wow, look at that!" It's easy to get lost in the crowd, and a chore to fight off the invitations for free admittance into every night club on The Strip.  I will say, however, being able to get a drink and walk around with it was a plus.  I recommend the pomegranate margarita at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville.

2) The Strip is an incredible waste of resources.  Only in America could such a display of excess survive in the middle of a recession.  The lights, the water displays, the nightly pyrotechnics shows going on outside Treasure Island, one would never know that if you walk a block outside the strip you would be in the middle of a ghetto in the middle of the desert.  But it's not just the exorbitant amount of resources it takes to run the Las Vegas Strip, for without the people to pour out their hard-earned money into the numerous casinos, bars, restaurants, malls, nightclubs, museums, and tacky souvenir shops, the lights would cease to burn their gargantuan image into the desert sky.  I can't say if it's the allure of winning it big, the hot desert air messing with everyone's sensibility, or the need for a good time via a memory erasing quantity of alcohol, but the amount of money that flows through The Strip would make even the wealthiest of men cringe.  I spent $100 on food and drinks over a day and a half, and that was being conservative (granted I cannot partake in the $4.99 hot dog and Coors Light specials advertised to entice you into whichever casino is being so generous).  Good God.

3) Good luck trying to find a gluten-free meal in the old Downtown.  I took the bus to Fremont Street to experience something other than the Strip.  Once I got my fill of free drinks and poured a few bucks into a slot machine, I went to every restaurant I could find the entrance to and asked about a gluten-free menu, or at least knowledge of a gluten-free meal, and the best answer I got was, "Here, you can take a look at our menu, you know what you can eat."  Really?!?  Wow, thank you.  Because your menu will tell me the ingredients of everything used to prepare your food and how your kitchen is set up.  Thanks.  One woman even asked me if I was planning a party.  Needless to say, that experience turned out to be a waste of time.

Despite all that, I had an enjoyable trip.  I would go back.  Only next time I will bring friends, and plan ahead so I don't have another food crisis.  And drink water.  Seriously, lots of water.

After returning from Las Vegas, I got an email asking me if I would go to New York City to meet with the General Manager of the book company in person, as she could not make a determination from the teleconference interview we had.  Sure, why not?

So I went to NYC for the day on September 13th.  I had been there once before with my sister some years ago, and while we had a decent weekend we were both unimpressed.  This trip was different.  The bookstore was on Madison Avenue near 55th, so I decided to walk from Penn Station.  I chose 5th Avenue for the upward portion of the journey, and came across the New York Public Library.  I have no idea how I missed this the first trip, but wow!  If you've never been, go.  But before you do, go to Maui Tacos on 5th Avenue near the Empire State Building.  It's a heaven for the gluten-free eater, as everything except the flour tortillas and enchilada sauce is gluten-free.  I recommend the fish tacos.

After the interview, which lasted three hours because the managers could not take the time out of their day to ignore their telephones, I got an iced coffee (at Starbucks, nothing fancy) and sat on a bench in Central Park while I drank it.  I then walked back over to 5th and 59th and threw a nickle into the fountain (You're welcome Perry), and started down 6th Avenue to make the trek back to Penn Station. 
All in all, it was a good day, and left me wanting more. 

The train into NYC also made me realize that there are many beautiful parts of RI and CT I have never explored.  Which leads to my next journey:

Last Wednesday I took a day trip to RI to explore.  I didn't know where I was going to end up, but my goal was to find something other than Providence.  And I did.  With the aid of a co-pilot, I traveled down RI 114, which lead me to Warren, Bristol, and Newport. 

The first stop was in Warren, where after wandering through a few antiques shops, accidentally taking pictures of the Free Masons building (I didn't know until after ... sorry guys), and touring a very strange gift shop, we had lunch at Piezoni's Pizza. Yay!  It was delicious, especially considering pizza is a very rare food for me.  Yay!

Back on the road, a quick cruise through Bristol lead us to Newport, which is a hidden gem shining on the New England coast.  We walked down Thames Street, which is probably crawling with tourists during the peak summer months, but on this September evening was rather delightful.  Restaurants, bars, antiques shops, and nautical-type things make up the heart of Thames Street.  For an hour and a half drive (plus if there is traffic), and a quarter tank of gas, this seacoast town is the perfect destination for the short-of-pocket, but tall on culture.  I'm fairly certain it would make a great weekend getaway.  After dinner at Thai Cuisine (they can make most of the menu items gluten-free, just ask!), we turned the truck North and headed back to MA.  And got home by 10 p.m.

Needless to say, I didn't get the job, but instead gained a lot of valuable experience.  I wasn't entirely sold on moving to Las Vegas, so it's probably for the best. 

Anyway, all this food talk has made me hungry.
Until Next time ....

Feedback is always welcome.
Thanks for stopping by!

Monday, August 29, 2011


In the wake of the storm
a melancholy mood persists
it takes hold of my heart
and pushes out the love I thought I felt for you
it's too much now
I am broken in ways that bear no explanation
there is an eternity in my soul
bursting out from all directions
it holds the memories of deserts and mountains
plains I didn't think I'd miss
beaches I hope to see again
drives I'll never relive
that girl is dead
I am all that is left
there is nothing good about me
beyond the surface is the wreckage of a thousand hurricanes
the structure is not sound
but it suits me just fine
perhaps I am better off alone.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Walking in Hawthorne's Footsteps

Strolling around Salem with iced coffee in hand and sun on my shoulders, it is not hard to see why this place is so inspiring.  There is the breath of history in the air, you can feel it with every step.  Granted, the year 1692 is the focus of choice because of those horrible witch trials, but this quaint harbor town is rich with so much more.  For example, the telephone was first demonstrated at the Lyceum, and for a time Salem, which was once a bustling and prosperous port, had exclusive trade with India. 

Today, it is run by witches, artists, and lawyers, a combination which keeps its strange spirit alive.  In all this, one must recall the beasts New England has so often bred: writers.

Edgar Allen Poe stalked around in Boston, Emily Dickinson holed herself up in her house in Amherst, Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Walt Whitman (among others) scouted about in the woods in Concord (and of course Walden Pond), Robert Frost homesteaded in New Hampshire, J.D. Salinger also hid out in New Hampshire until his death in 2010 (I'm still waiting for his family to discover a wealth of new work and publish it posthumously), and of course, Nathanial Hawthorne lived and worked in Salem. 

I am a writer in a land of writers.  And yet I don't know how to go about being a writer; I don't know where to start (my friend Luke recommends the kitchen).  The simple task of putting pen to paper had never been so distant or so daunting.  What do I write?  For Whom? I must begin somewhere.  Simply, I must begin.  Write anything, even if it's crap, just for the exercise of it.  Then, I will find my one true sentence.

Anyway, it's time to start the day.  Hopefully it will be a good one.

Until next time ...

Feedback is always welcome.
Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

And then ...

I have officially resigned from my job.  It feels really great to say that.

Thus far, I have rearranged all of the furniture in my apartment, stacked up all my mail into one big pile that I tell myself I will sort through and throw away, but is instead serving as a source of endless amusement for the cat, and gone on several walks. 

I have also made a ton of awesome food, and some not-so-awesome-but-good-experiment dishes.  For example, today I made gluten-free & dairy-free chocolate pancakes.  I used Bob's Red Mills gluten-free all purpose baking flour, which was great for the fried chicken nuggets I made a few nights ago, but not so much for the pancakes.  See, this flour mix is primarily garbanzo bean flour & fava bean flour, so that bean flavor that was hidden by the frying process for the chicken overwhelmed the pancakes.  I will try again with a different blend soon.

Yesterday for lunch, I made a Jennie-O turkey burger topped with sauteed jalapenos and red onion, which were blended with curry spice, mustard powder, red pepper, a hint of garlic powder, and brown sugar.  WOW.  It was so good it felt like I should pull the curtains closed so the neighbors wouldn't see.  That one is definitely going into the make-again pile.

So, not necessarily on plan with the writing/ freelance process, but I've got a few things I'm working up to.  I am planning to lock myself in my office without food or water until I produce something interesting.  Or die trying.  Once a procrastinator always a procrastinator.

Anyway, my time on the library computer is almost up (shiny new laptop on the way).  Until next time ...

Feedback is always welcome.
Thanks for stopping by!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Let's Get Started

Welcome to my blog!

I'm not yet sure what I will be doing with this, but I figured it's damn well time I started it.

For those who know me, this next part will come as no surprise.

15 days after I turned 27 I woke up and realized that I needed to change my lifestyle, and by change my lifestyle I mean quit my job.  I needed to find a way to make a living creatively, and not be at the mercy of a corporate job with strict corporate rules.

Yes, having a 401K, health insurance, and a steady paycheck is nice, but I haven't written anything other than corporate-voiced emails in about a year.  Virginia Woolf said that in order to write, a woman must have a room of her own.  The part she didn't mention, however, was time.  In order to write, a woman (or man, but we're talking about me here) must have time to write.  This is a concept I have been working over for some time now.

In order to be creative, one must have time to create.

I've realized that it's time to start creating a life for myself that suits me.  That is never going to happen if I am plugging 40 hours a week into a job that I hate.  I'm not getting any younger, and conventional life doesn't make me happy.

What am I going to do instead?  I'm going to write.  And paint.  And maybe some other things.

How am I going to make a living?  I have no idea.  I'll figure that part out as I go.

I am intending this blog to be a creative outlet.  I am curious to see what it turns out to be.

Feedback is always welcome.
Thanks for stopping by!