It's amazing how clear things become, like waking up and realizing you have been asleep.

Monday, August 29, 2011


In the wake of the storm
a melancholy mood persists
it takes hold of my heart
and pushes out the love I thought I felt for you
it's too much now
I am broken in ways that bear no explanation
there is an eternity in my soul
bursting out from all directions
it holds the memories of deserts and mountains
plains I didn't think I'd miss
beaches I hope to see again
drives I'll never relive
that girl is dead
I am all that is left
there is nothing good about me
beyond the surface is the wreckage of a thousand hurricanes
the structure is not sound
but it suits me just fine
perhaps I am better off alone.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Walking in Hawthorne's Footsteps

Strolling around Salem with iced coffee in hand and sun on my shoulders, it is not hard to see why this place is so inspiring.  There is the breath of history in the air, you can feel it with every step.  Granted, the year 1692 is the focus of choice because of those horrible witch trials, but this quaint harbor town is rich with so much more.  For example, the telephone was first demonstrated at the Lyceum, and for a time Salem, which was once a bustling and prosperous port, had exclusive trade with India. 

Today, it is run by witches, artists, and lawyers, a combination which keeps its strange spirit alive.  In all this, one must recall the beasts New England has so often bred: writers.

Edgar Allen Poe stalked around in Boston, Emily Dickinson holed herself up in her house in Amherst, Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Walt Whitman (among others) scouted about in the woods in Concord (and of course Walden Pond), Robert Frost homesteaded in New Hampshire, J.D. Salinger also hid out in New Hampshire until his death in 2010 (I'm still waiting for his family to discover a wealth of new work and publish it posthumously), and of course, Nathanial Hawthorne lived and worked in Salem. 

I am a writer in a land of writers.  And yet I don't know how to go about being a writer; I don't know where to start (my friend Luke recommends the kitchen).  The simple task of putting pen to paper had never been so distant or so daunting.  What do I write?  For Whom? I must begin somewhere.  Simply, I must begin.  Write anything, even if it's crap, just for the exercise of it.  Then, I will find my one true sentence.

Anyway, it's time to start the day.  Hopefully it will be a good one.

Until next time ...

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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

And then ...

I have officially resigned from my job.  It feels really great to say that.

Thus far, I have rearranged all of the furniture in my apartment, stacked up all my mail into one big pile that I tell myself I will sort through and throw away, but is instead serving as a source of endless amusement for the cat, and gone on several walks. 

I have also made a ton of awesome food, and some not-so-awesome-but-good-experiment dishes.  For example, today I made gluten-free & dairy-free chocolate pancakes.  I used Bob's Red Mills gluten-free all purpose baking flour, which was great for the fried chicken nuggets I made a few nights ago, but not so much for the pancakes.  See, this flour mix is primarily garbanzo bean flour & fava bean flour, so that bean flavor that was hidden by the frying process for the chicken overwhelmed the pancakes.  I will try again with a different blend soon.

Yesterday for lunch, I made a Jennie-O turkey burger topped with sauteed jalapenos and red onion, which were blended with curry spice, mustard powder, red pepper, a hint of garlic powder, and brown sugar.  WOW.  It was so good it felt like I should pull the curtains closed so the neighbors wouldn't see.  That one is definitely going into the make-again pile.

So, not necessarily on plan with the writing/ freelance process, but I've got a few things I'm working up to.  I am planning to lock myself in my office without food or water until I produce something interesting.  Or die trying.  Once a procrastinator always a procrastinator.

Anyway, my time on the library computer is almost up (shiny new laptop on the way).  Until next time ...

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Friday, August 12, 2011

Let's Get Started

Welcome to my blog!

I'm not yet sure what I will be doing with this, but I figured it's damn well time I started it.

For those who know me, this next part will come as no surprise.

15 days after I turned 27 I woke up and realized that I needed to change my lifestyle, and by change my lifestyle I mean quit my job.  I needed to find a way to make a living creatively, and not be at the mercy of a corporate job with strict corporate rules.

Yes, having a 401K, health insurance, and a steady paycheck is nice, but I haven't written anything other than corporate-voiced emails in about a year.  Virginia Woolf said that in order to write, a woman must have a room of her own.  The part she didn't mention, however, was time.  In order to write, a woman (or man, but we're talking about me here) must have time to write.  This is a concept I have been working over for some time now.

In order to be creative, one must have time to create.

I've realized that it's time to start creating a life for myself that suits me.  That is never going to happen if I am plugging 40 hours a week into a job that I hate.  I'm not getting any younger, and conventional life doesn't make me happy.

What am I going to do instead?  I'm going to write.  And paint.  And maybe some other things.

How am I going to make a living?  I have no idea.  I'll figure that part out as I go.

I am intending this blog to be a creative outlet.  I am curious to see what it turns out to be.

Feedback is always welcome.
Thanks for stopping by!